Money, Thanksgiving, Soul Train Music Awards

I’ve never quite understood why among my group of friends, I always seem to be the only one (visibly) bothered by money. Maybe I process things differently, but when someone invites me to a random thing, like brunch, I have to think about it. And whereas (I think) most people who pause to think are trying to see if the invitation fits their schedule, I’m thinking about whether my account balance is padded enough, and if the experience is worth it. I’m ALWAYS here for new experiences, and I don’t mind being a bit broke for a while because I spent my money travelling to a new country, for example. Thankfully, I’ve never had to be extremely broke, because my daddy is too kind. However, I need time to mull things over, to see if I’m flush enough or if I can spare a few coins – and it’s not like I have a budget. I don’t think budgets work for me as such, so once I get money I just move 20-60% into a savings account because I usually don’t know if I’m going to be able to save anything next month. Why am I not sure? Because my life is unstable. In one month, I might have to travel like 5 times, and when you consider that flight tickets cost €70-120, consider that I have to factor in costs of transportation in these cities, consider food, etc., you might appreciate why I have to save in advance. Also, I’m looking for a house and my parameters are really stringent so I have to save for what I want. Then I need a new computer. Etc etc. Sigh.

{Break in transmission: I’m watching the Soul Train Awards on BET and Erica Campbell (one half of the Mary-Mary duo) is on. It’s very interesting to see how black people can turn spiritual in an instant, and this right now, this might as well be a church service or church concert. Tasha Cobbs is on now. Babyface was being honored earlier and they played some of the songs he wrote, with the artistes. BoysIIMen featured then, and that was the best bit of things for me because they sang End of the Road and I got really nostalgic. My goodness, I love Janelle Monae’s voice. I’ve been trying to get rid of the nasal tinge to mine and now I think I want to sound like her; only problem is everyone who knows me will look at me askance like “have you come down with a cold? You’ve had this cold for months now though”. R-Kelly has come on now to sing Step in the Name of Love and I’m dancing along because nostalgia, but I’m also making a weird face because I just remembered this article I read recently. That also just made me think about how the media shapes our perceptions and influences our behaviour. Hmm. Eyyy he just started singing Ignition Remix and I remember how my best friend in high school loved that song.}

Right, so we started with how I seem to be the only one who doesn’t outwardly worry about money. I don’t know how to pretend, so I usually just say how broke I am. I think I’m poor 😦 and I wish I could just not worry and spend all the money. I need more hustles. And more stability. Oh well.

How was Thanksgiving weekend for you? I liked the hashtag #ThanksgivingWithBlackFamilies – another insight into the lives of black Americans, seeing as I’ve never lived among them and all I know is from TV and maybe books. I’m grateful for my parents who have done their utmost best to raise us, and I’m a bit happy that I’ve come to see them as human beings who have emotions and are just trying to live their best lives, rather than just ‘parents’. I’m thankful for my edges, because they’re full and don’t look like they’ve been ‘snatched’. Thankful for red wine (which I used to hate) and cider, because those are awesome. Thankful for self improvement, and love. Thankful for relative comfort, and for my career because my current job is almost the literal illustration of “life comes at you fast”. I’m learning a lot though, and hopefully not falling on my face too many times – AND I get to work from home 🙂

I have work to do and a work phone call to make at 10pm (perks of working from home, eh?), so I’m gonna go now.

A bientot.


A Collection Of Random Stuff Which, By Themselves, Are Too Brief To Be Considered Blog Posts III

  1. These days, I’ve been going through a … situationship. This situationship is a combination of about 3 different rubbish things. And I only mention it because not only does it suck, but my hands are also tied and I can’t do anything about it. Normally, there are things to be done about things like this, but I have already tried them and they’re not working. So I’m in limbo. Also sad, and apprehensive. I tell myself I should be baseline happy because I’m alive, and perhaps this face I’ve got on is my baseline-happiness-face. It doesn’t look *that* happy, though. I’m not American, but Thanksgiving was two days ago and many people who have appropriated <is that the right word?> this culture took to Twitter to say the things they were thankful for. Well, I’m thankful for life, for the fact that my family is alive and healthy, for constant electricity and for the fact that I currently live in a society where things just work. I will admit that it is a bit hard for me right now, to take my eyes off my problems (if only they’d get out of my face!) and concentrate on what good there is. But I am and will keep trying. You know how they say, that when you’re sad, you should go do what always makes you feel better/happy? I have no such activity or place or person or whatever. I do have lots of nice memories, but I need something to actually do. Meh. (Actually, I have something, but it’s a bit of an expensive activity, so, yeah.)
  2. Am I the only one who tries to read many books at the same time? That’s what I’m doing. I’ve got bookmarks in at least 7 books – one of which I’ve been struggling to finish since the summer of 2013. It’s supposed to be a Finnish classic and everyone knows how much I love Finland, that’s why I’ve been trying – as opposed to just dumping the book, as I did with Catcher in the Rye. It’s not that it’s boring as such, it’s just, it tells the story of people living a normal summer life interspersed with some high points here and there, and seemingly leading nowhere. Much like normal life. But the books I’ve read so far have always had climaxes, they’re never really about ‘normal’ life. I mean, my life is normal enough, and I suppose it’s a bit interesting to see what other people’s ‘normal’ summers look like, but for me, that really only works in real life. Not books. I’ll try again next year.
  3. About my nutrition: One of the best things about living alone and not being responsible for whether another person eats or not, is the fact that if you’re like me, you’re quite content with eating the same thing every day. I eat one mandarin and a bowl of oats for breakfast every single morning; brown bread, ham, cheese and milk for lunch, and then dinner varies. Dinner varies because sometimes I’m in this phase where I eat (baked) fries and chicken and veggies for weeks on end, then maybe I go into the phase where I eat fried rice for a bit. The fried rice phase isn’t sustainable though, because of all the vegetable-chopping involved. Sometimes it’s the spaghetti phase. Recently, it’s been the coconut rice phase. I got invited to a potluck thing and I decided to make coconut rice which turned out awesome, and it wasn’t that hard to make either. Bingo. Earlier this week, I made stew (after not making any in 1-2 years), and it was great. It was supposed to last me till maybe the end of next week, and this was going to be the rice/beans/anything + stew phase. Then this morning, while warming, I forgot it on the cooker, and it burnt. (Why I did not just put the darned thing in the fridge in the first instance, is what I don’t understand.) Anyway, this laziness is why I know I can never go back to living with family again, till I get married. No sir. This life, is *the* life.  An advantage of this sort of thing is, if you do it with enough dishes, you get very good at making them, and after the first two times you don’t have to have your computer with you in the kitchen, for recipes.
  4. About my hair: You can stop reading if your hair doesn’t look like one of these. Living with my kind of hair is, at the very least, an exercise in patience, but I have somehow learned how to get away with doing the least, by making compromises. I know that if I don’t stretch the hair by putting it in twists, braids, etc, then I am going to have knots and balls. I have accepted that. I’m not about to struggle to braid/twist my hair every night. I have also accepted that my hair will never meet my standards of neatness, and to compensate for this, I ensure that I tease it into a nice round shape, rather than let it look flat or otherwise uneven on one or more sides (as can be seen in the 4c photo in the link above). I can’t avoid detangling, because of course, I let my hair ‘roam free’ so there are more knots and balls than I care for. I hope though, that at some point in the future, someone comes up with a healthy product that really detangles your hair without additional need for fingers or a comb. I’ve accepted that I am very unlikely to ever be an experimenter with styles. I could use a bow here or a band there (on special occasions only), but I won’t ever be that person who does ‘30 days of different styles’. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Have a great weekend, à tout!